Today in the Rule of St. Benedict I once again started the chapter on humility. Benedict puts such emphasis on humility because he believes it is the glue of relationships.
The book is divided into days to be read three times a year. I’ve had this book since January, 2001, so I’ve only read it 21 times.
It doesn’t look like that. The binding fell off years ago, and the pages are held together with a rubber band. Camping trips have been hard on it.
The book was written by a man who lived in a cave 1,000 years ago, and some of it is quite outdated, but much of it still has value. He came up with a 12-step plan for humility. That must seem funny in a world of 12-step plans, but this may have been the original one.
I write all this today because it’s Jan. 26, and I began the chapter on humility, which was meant to speak to people in all walks of life. But I don’t know if it does.
Some people have had horrible things happen to them. I’ve only had bad days. Others live in nightmares they can’t escape. And even when the nightmare is gone, the shadow of it follows them the rest of their lives.
As I write this, I look at nine or 10 little birds in the tree next to my apartment. They are happily singing and hopping through the limbs. I put out birdseed when I first arrived, but they didn’t find it for a month. Now whenever I’m home, they are in the trees or hopping around on the patio.
I am a woman who lives alone in an apartment, who has never been hurt by life in ways other people have. Those little birds bring me happiness. They speak to me and give me healing. They are my way of feeling connected to a space outside the windows of my world.
And maybe humility just means staying connected and in communication with a space outside ourselves.
But I have lived in places where many people have cared for me and given me guidance. What can I really say to help? I can only offer my love, and I don’t think that’s enough. But maybe it helps to know it’s always there.
Here is my interpretation of the 12 steps:
1. Always have god before our eyes. Somehow we need to come to harmony with the universe. People who honor themselves and others probably have a handle on this already.
This one also says to me, we must try not to make god a person or a thing or a job or title. I could make art a god, for example. But whenever I do that, I get off balance. I become too obsessed and don’t take care of myself.
2. Accepting the will of god in our lives. I interpret that simply as being open to the universe and listening. We have signs, we have people speaking to us, somehow the universe is trying to show us the way.
3. Recognizing authority. That’s teachers, counselors, parents, bosses. That means staying in conversation with them. It doesn’t mean letting them control our lives.
4. Enduring injustices. This is a tough one because some people endure injustices that are incomprehensible. But I think of Gandhi and Martin Luther King and the power of passive resistance.
5. Not hiding from the Abbott/Abbess the thoughts of our heart. I suppose in doing this, in saying this is who I am we quit pretending to be something we aren’t.
6. To be content with the most common of things. Life isn’t always about having bigger and better but living simply and within our means. It keeps our house and perhaps our souls from being too cluttered.
7. Believe everyone is better than you. This isn’t about self-deprecation but about listening to what people have to say about us. The receptionist in the office might have the best take on us there is. No matter who we are, no matter how good we are in our crafts we can always improve.
8. Being willing to listen and learn from the community of people around us. Sometimes we don’t know what to do about something, and a co-worker or a family member will say something off the cuff that turns a light on in our heads. Being a part of a community is very grounding.
9, 10, 11. Three whole steps are dedicated to the mouth. This concerns not speaking behind people’s backs or laughing at them or telling them how to live their lives or speaking in anger. All that takes real skill. It also takes being a good listener, and the only people I’ve known who are really good at that are professional counselors. They actively listen by taking notes in their head.
12. This is an odd one but it is about looking at the earth as we walk on it. Humility comes from the word humus, which means earth. I was taught once how to run by a professional runner. I’m not a good runner, but I remember what he said about feeling how each foot touches the earth as I step, and about really being grounded when I stand. It affects the whole body.
I also think of this. People who are in touch with the earth, like farmers, are usually “down to earth.”
And finally I think of a kung fu master who is self-contained and self-controlled and at ease with himself and others. People who know how to take care of themselves aren’t defensive.
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